Savoring the single life
Pensacola News Journal
Solo-flying ladies of all ages spurn the notion of lonely nights, single-serving microwave meals and the companionship of multiple cats. They're single and fabulous, thank you very much, but the attitude is nothing new.
"Whether you view your one-woman ménage as Doom or Adventure, you need a plan, if you are going to make the best of it."
So begins the 1936 single gal's handbook, "Live Alone and Like It," written by Vogue editor Marjorie Hillis.
A best-seller in its time, the witty tome, with chapters such as "A Lady and Her Liquor" and "The Pleasures of a Single Bed," has just been reissued by Hachette Book Group ($13.99, available at Amazon.com and most book sellers).
Packed with advice on entertaining, decorating, discreet love affairs, the how-tos of liquor and, most of all, how to make a delightful life for yourself without a live-in man, it's a fascinating look back at the status of the single woman in the '30s that's also relevant to today's independent ladies.
On a recent Wednesday evening at the Fish House, pals Courtney Weir, Lindsay Pileggi, Caroline Gibson and Tracy Montgomery sat on the crowded outside deck and praised the perks of living single.
"I think women of our parents' generation may have felt pressured to settle down sooner," Weir, 25, of Gulf Breeze explained. "My friends and I don't have that pressure. It's OK to take your time and enjoy your independence."
All four friends agreed that while there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship, there's something to be said for answering only to yourself.
"You can do what you want, when you want," Montgomery, 25, of Gulf Breeze, said. "You can go out with your friends and have a great time, without having to have a guy."
The reissue of "Live Alone" is especially timely since, according to a New York Times analysis of census data, in 2005, 51 percent of women in the United States were living alone. Census results from the 1930s aren't easily analyzed because they used different categories to measure statistics. The most significant: 31.5 percent of families listed with a woman head of household were women living alone.
The multitude of single ladies mixing and mingling at the Fish House on Wednesday seemed to support the data.
"Yeah, I thought I'd be married by now," Joy Laughlin, 27, of Pensacola, revealed, causing fellow singletons Hannah Wharton, 24, and Natalie Stolfi, 27, to burst into laughter. "I'm not complaining, though."
The good-natured Gulf Coast singles would fit in just fine in "Live Alone.'
Hillis used the term "Liver-Alone" to describe the ladies to whom she was writing: not sad spinsters, but vital women with their own bubbling social lives who keep their appearances, minds and dwellings in optimal shape. Adding a man to the mix is looked upon as a complement to an already great-looking lifestyle, not the centerpiece.
"I love having my own house. A man would just mess up my decorating scheme," joked LaTisha Watson, a 37-year-old "liver-alone" who recently moved to the Pensacola area.
Watson, a self-employed Web designer, said that she enjoys her independence too much to ever worry about living alone.
"Every so often, somebody will ask, 'Aren't you lonely?' like I'm sitting at home by myself every night," she said. "Just because you're single doesn't mean you're always alone. I go out on dates, meet with friends, whatever. It's a good life."
Gannett News Service reporter Tamara Ikenberg contributed to this story
Picture: Fish House Deck Bar Ladies Night 8/9/08
Friends laugh together Wednesday night at The Deck, from left, Rebekah Lee, Sara Harris, Michelle Darrah and Jessica Jordan. The Deck hosts Ladies Night on Wednesdays. (Jennifer Cecil/jcecil@pnj.com)